Nujabes - Beyond Hypnotism feat. Biggie Smalls (Mash-Up)

Another in my line of Nujabes' mash-ups in honor of Jun Seba.

Again, a lucky first try that just worked. It sounds a bit clashy, but I like it.

I tried to remove Puffy's annoying hypeman shit as often as possible, but unfortunately you can still hear him throughout the song.

This was made using Nujabes' "Beyond" and Biggie Smalls' "Hypnotize".

R.I.P.

This review was seriously delayed for a number of reasons, the biggest one being that I was experimenting with video. However, that was a complete and utter fail on my part, and I won't make the mistake of blowing $70 on sub-par equipment again (For now). In the mean time, text will do just fine. Because of my tardiness, I've decided to mash together what would've been last week's review with this week's. In a way, it actually works better. Let's see our first game:



As you can see, this game is VERY similar to the original game. Same graphics, same soundtrack, same story, but it improved on many things. First off, the game was far more difficult. Beating the first level on this game is like beating the first world on the original. Also, there are many subtle differences, such as slight upgrades in sound quality, and the fact that Mario and Luigi have differing abilities. Mario has greater traction, while Luigi can jump farther (There's no two player component in this game, just character selection). Also, after completing the game once without using any warp zones (which remain present), you are then transported to a world called "Fantasy World". Which, it so happens, is the perfect title for this land of butcherd physics laws. There's underwater clouds, flagpoles, even fire! FIRE!

The core Mario formula is back, with great control, difficult levels and addictive gameplay. It all feels alot more important as well, as this is a game that could've REALLY pissed you off if the controls sucked. Any slight miscalculation on the game's part often means death in a game like this, but you can rest assured that your failures are a result of your lack of skill (insert raspberry blowing here).

This game not only carries on the tradition of the original game, but continues it's legacy with upgrades such as the Poison Mushroom, characters having different abilities, and the physical distinction in mushrooms. This is the true sequel to the game, always tainted by the awkward turtle of the series, Super Mario Bros. 2.

Now, with Mario's quality sliding ever so quickly towards the shitter, it would come as no surprise if the next entry in the iconic franchise would be the bottom-barrel series killer. However, Nintendo decided to send off the 80's, and the original trilogy, with a bang:



Super Mario Bros. 3 was originally unveiled in the comically terrible The Wizard film, and was easily the biggest Nintendo related news at that point. Everyone saw the new game and was shocked to see their favorite plumber dressing up like a raccoon and fighting the scourge of the Mushroom Kingdom: Bowser and his minions. So obviously, expectations were quite high. And I can say, around 12 years after playing it for the first time, I can honestly say that this is one, if not the, greatest game on the NES, and definitely the greatest Mario game of the time.

I went off on SMB2's cover, but this one is a downright masterpiece. It's simple, yet tantalizing. All the cover shows is the game's logo and an image that would be iconic for years to come: Mario swooping down wearng The Super Leaf. Only a Mario game could make a super leaf seem extremely epic. It claims to be the biggest, most exciting Mario Bros. game yet, and by God it most certainly was.

Starting up the game gets you immediately pumped up, as Mario and Luigi race towards each other across a checkered screen. Luigi jumps ontop of Mario, bounces off, and the title screen falls down. Amazing.

The first level displays some of the greatest graphics on the NES. Mario is in close to full 8-bit glory with incredible detail on small things, such as Mario gripping his hat for dear life while ducking for cover. There are much more power-ups this time around, such as the Frog Suit, the Tanooki Suit, the P Wing, and staples like the mushrooms and Fire Suit. The gameplay is incredible, with every move inching you closer and closer to the edge of your seat. There are many times where you lose control of your body and pure adrenaline takes over for you, bouncing you from platform to platform.

Again, the core formula of Difficulty, Addicticability and Precision remain. Slipping under Thwomps and speeding past The Angry Sun is nothing short of soulfully rewarding, but if you let it this game will kick your ass.



Overall, this game is a timeless masterpiece, and a perfect end to an overall classic series.


Make sure to visit The Player's Lair next week, as we review what many hold to be the greatest Mario title of all time.

Super Mario Bros. 2 (NES)

Alrighty, so by this point Mario's prestige and legacy are set in stone. He's got fame, popularity, multiple spin-off products, and even a show with Lou Albano! (R.I.P; Cap!) So, how do you follow up on debatably the greatest video game to date? Pink, transsexual, aborted egg-shooting lizards wearing Ms. Pac-Man's bow. Yeah.



Now, I wasn't alive during the release of this game. Therefore I can only imagine the sheer horror on the faces of all the Mario fans when they saw this box art. It's nowhere near Mega Man box art bad, but why the hell is Mario carrying what appears to be a raddish? What is this, Cooking Mama? Is Mario a closet gardener?

One of the first things that you'll notice upon starting up this turd is that it has next to nothing to do with it's predecessor. Why is that, you may ask? Well, here's the story:

Apparently during the release of Super Mario Bros. 2 in Japan (before the U.S. release, of course), some Nintendo of America executives thought that the game was too much like the original. So what did they do? They scrapped the original (Which would be repackaged as "The Lost Levels" in the Super Mario All Stars cartridge), and downright stole everything aside from the characters from a game called Doki Doki Panic. That's right, even that iconic theme song was stolen from some weird storybook game. So, what we're left with is The Hedgehog Paradox. The Hedgehog Paradox is when a game in a franchise is sub-par at best, but seen as a piece of shit because of it's association with a high-quality and beloved series. The Hedgehog Paradox has afflicted Frogger, Resident Evil, Halo, and now has it's icy grip on our favorite mischevious mustachio.

Unlike Super Mario Bros; the control is shit. Jumping is awkward at best and suicidal at worst. The idea of picking up enemies and throwing them instead of jumping on them is damn retarded. Every encounter with Birdo is 3 minutes of pure frustration, and the setting is like an acid trip in Toontown. You've got red-hooded guys with JabbaWockeeZ masks, you've got magic doors that are summoned by potions. I dare you to play this game and see how long it takes for your mind to snap. (insert Clockwork Orange joke here)

The visuals are actually a vast improvement over the original, but as we all know, graphics don't mean jackitty-shit.



So, what is this game. A frustrating, trippy game that not only suffers from The Hedgehog Paradox, but also is a complete rip-off. It's as if someone were to steal from their own work, (and others), and boldly shove out a visually stunning piece of fecal matter that, somehow, actually manages to sell like hotcak-



...Um...

So it would seem as though this would seal the fate of the Mario franchise. However, little did the general populace know at the time that the next sequel to the classic series would be arguably it's best.



P.S: The supposeed "Voice of Canadian Gaming" has claimed this to be his favorite in the Mario series. *blows raspberry*

First Mix Of 2010!

Pretty low quality, but I've been on hiatus for a while now, and I'll improve over time.

New review tomorrow!

Super Mario Bros

This is the start of a series of reviews looking back on the Mario series. (The main series platforming centered games, at least.) And what other way to start than with...



Again, we should probably start off with a little history first:


You remember the NES, don't you? Ah yes, the embodiment of nostalgia, that rectangular brick of pwnage aiding you in your quest to save the princess, kill Dracula, what have you. Of course, if it weren't for this little Italian plumber, Nintendo probably wouldn't be what it is today. In fact, had it not been for Mario, the NES would've been tossed aside by retail markets for...*shudders* Teddy Ruxpin. (violin screeches)

Needless to say, Super Mario Bros would be a critical and commercial success, skyrocketing the NES and Nintendo to the #1 spot. Mario became a celebrity, with a number of shows, toys, games, food-related products, and even a film. (Don't look up that last one, though. Ugh.)However, how good is his game really? Let's find out.



First off, the second you appear in the Mushroom Kingdom you will notice that this game has something that few games at the time (and unfortunately even now) have: Eye-catching color. From the bright green Koopa shells to the deep blue sky, this game's visuals jump out at you. You never once feel the limitations of the 8 bit graphics, as the appearance of this game is simply mesmerizing.

Gameplay-wise, this game can be summarized with three words: difficulty, addictability, and polish. The Mario series is often seen as a kiddie series. To those who say that, I demand they put down their special-edition Modern Warfare 2 controllers, stop massacring innocent Russians and just TRY and beat this game without a Game Genie. I didn't think so, gramer douche. Furthermore, this game has a way of crawling into your brain and harassing your inner platforming junkie, knowing you'll always grasp that controller once more for vengeance on those damn Hammer Bros. You just can't put this game down, which I account to Miyamoto's secret plan of lacing the plastic of NES controllers with traces of nicotine and crystal meth. Or it's the gameplay, it could be either.

This is also one of the more polished games on the NES. Unlike Mega Man, you never feel cheated by the controls or the game. When you fuck up, you know it's your fault. Mario can also gain momentum as he runs, which is pivotal when trying to leap over a particular nasty Lakitu, or just fighting the good fight of those eternally trying to make it over the flagpole. (Don't act like you haven't tried!)

With numerous ports on systems ranging from the SNES to the Game Boy Color and the Wii's Virtual Console, there is know reason for you to not own this game. (Aside from the fear of swapping out that Ghillie suit for an always-fashionable overall ensemble)

Wii

That's right, The Player's Lair has acquired a Nintendo Wii!!!



Now, this review is going to be a lead-in to a mini-series of reviews. What franchise will I be toppling? We'll wait and see...


Before I review this system, let's take a look at it's history:

The Nintendo Gamecube wasn't exactly a commercial success. It was the third to last system in the console race (placing ahead of only the Dreamcast) and was a bit of a dissapointment compared to the N64 era Nintendo fanboys were previously blessed with. So with the next generation of systems, all eyes were on Nintendo and their next offering. For a while, it seemed as though the Nintendo had a plan. The system was named "Revolution" , and seemed to usher in exactly that. Unfortunately, Nintendo changed the name to Wii and completely started to plummet. Sure, it was a commercial success, but a system's quality and popularity is never based on commercial success. (see Dreamcast.) It seemed that the Wii was for casual fans and casual fans alone. However, it seems as though Nintendo is returning to it's roots with a number of awesome retro WiiWare games and other upcoming releases. So, I picked up one of these bad boys when I had the dough.

Stylistic-wise, this system is one of the better looking. It's possibly the best looking out of the current line-up, and is pleasantly soft on the eyes. The soft blue light of the disc tray wonderfully compliments the bright white console. The system stand makes the system look that much more epic. This thing has class.

The system's start-up screen and menu shares the soft personality of the console itself, and is a welcome alternative to the Gamecube's obnoxious start-up. (I'm not saying I didn't like the GCN start-up, but it got tedious at times). The idea of "channels" is pretty cool, and is a nice change of pace to the standard scroller menus.

The controller is my only real gripe with this block of awesome, as it lacks the feel all great systems need. Sure, the Nunchuck and Wiimote combo works perfectly for your standard Wii Sports and what not, but for a game like New Super Mario Bros where grip and precision is key, this controller isn't up to par. However, I will say that the motion control is fantastic. (With MotionPlus, at least.) It's fantastic with games like Twilight Princess and Super Mario Galaxy, but the sacrifice on hardcore games isn't worth the minor upgrade of quality with games like Zelda.


All and all, this is a great system, but certainly not the best. I think we all know what the best is. ...I'm not gonna say it. You first. No you.


As for all you naysayers who say that the Wii is for casual gamers only, let's check back in a year and see if your opinion hasn't changed.

Ms. Pac-Man: Maze Madness

I know I've been out for awhile, but I had some issues to attend to.

...

Ahem.




This review is going to be a bit personal, as this is a gem from my childhood. For those of you not familiar with the PlayStation... who the hell are you? Go on eBay, fork over a 30 year old basement-dweller the necessary cash and lose yourself in one of the greatest systems known to man.

Anyway, the PlayStation is known for it's great franchises such as Spyro, Crash Bandicoot, and Twisted Metal. However, if you are a puzzle game junkie looking for that late-night dose, This game's got you covered. By this point, Ms. Pac-Man isn't exactly new to the gaming world. Her debut hit was more popular than her better half's, and she's starred in numerous games since. However, this has got to be the best game with Ms. Pac-Man in it.

We start off this epic adventure in Pac-Land, as Ms. Pac-Man is told by Professor Pac that she needs to find 4 gems to defeat the witch Mesmerelda. Or so I think, the story seemed a bit stupid to begin with, so I just ignored it.

The object of this game is to make your way through the map, solving puzzles, collecting dots and fruits, and beating the level in a certain time. It's a top-down view, and nothing about the game is that great. At first glance.

The one great thing about this game is the puzzle-solving. Many puzzles involve moving blocks and TNT to the right place and strategizing. It's really addictive. The puzzle-solving is fantastic, and each level throws something new at you. I literally spent 6 hours on the game, and was only 26% of the way done my first day playing. Yeah.

The game originally seemed like a cheap cash-in on the series' prestige, but I've gotta say that this is in the top 5 Pac games, maybe even top 3. Furthermore, this game has the best soundtrack of any Pac game ever. Ever. The music is marvelously cheesy, and every song perfectly accompanies the atmosphere and level. If you can find the soundtrack ANYWHERE, buy it. (It's better than any bullshit you'll hear on the radio nowadays).

If there's one thing negative to say, this game's controls are frustrating. At times the response is slow, but it's in no way a gamebreaker.

If you're hungry for a fix only puzzle-solving can satisfy, dust off your PS1 and free up a few days.